I keep having dreams of things I need to do
Of waking up and not following through
– Frank Turner
Six weeks of clench in my gut from playing “Beat the Clock” during billable programming hours, then afternoons of stress from mostly ignoring my five long-term guilt trips, with the kind of fear that immobilizes, that has me watching Star Trek and playing Oblivion instead of doing what needs doing. I’ve held it together for my billable gig, but after that, there’s been precious little left.
Today I woke with a fresh coat of hope, with a new realization that I need to feed my soul with unrestrained creative time, that without it I’m as likely to burn out as without rest. I have a responsibility to the greater things, to the folds and twists and curves of the new. It’s who I am, not what I do, I’m missing.
And so another post in this blog about what’s wrong and what next. Perhaps a new beginning?